Well, we survived the Miami trip but barely. I was encouraged as we boarded the plane because R's sister called to tell him that his brother called her asking for advice. I thought, "good. Some thought has been given to our visit." We arrived around 4pm on Saturday and checked into the hotel and walked over to their apartment. There were hugs and chats. The kids were napping. Then the baby woke up. He was super cute and very chill. I didn't hold him but I talked to him and played with him. Then the 4-year old woke up and was her cranky self. I don't know if I have ever met a more surly 4-year old.
Then the dinner cooking commenced. R's brother decided on shrimp tacos. Let me just remind everyone that R is a vegetarian and that includes not eating seafood. So his dinner consisted of salsa, avocado and cheese in a tortilla. But whatever. We left soon after dinner because we were tired. We left with the intention of having breakfast on our own and meeting up with them mid-morning to decide what to do for the day.
Sunday we woke up early as usual, went for a swim in the pool, had coffee, and went out to breakfast. Mind you, this all happened by 8:30am. R's brother called then and seemed upset we went out for breakfast. Anyway, they decided because it was so unbelievably hot they would take the kids to a kid play center at a nearby mall and of course we had to go with them. I wasn't thrilled with the idea but it was horribly hot and the A/C lured me. We arrived at what was essentially a nicer version of Chuck E. Cheese. Yup, bring the two people who lost their child to a place filled with children. I stayed for a little while until the 4-year old started to ignore me and then I left to be by myself for a little while. And I did happen to buy a pair of shoes while I was at it! R called me after a half hour and told me lunch was going to happen. So I went back and actually felt a little better after some food and sugary soda. So much better, in fact, that when the sister-in-law complained about wanting to eat but the baby needed to move around I offered to hold him. Yes, that's right! I felt like I could handle it. She looked at me like the mere touch of my hand would kill their baby! She got all fidgety and said no! I really think if we had had a more understanding couple for our first baby visit she would have understood the magnitude of what I said. But no.
Anyway, after that craziness we went back to their apartment to change to go in the pool with the 4-year old. It was enjoyable. Then we went back to snooze and get ready for a dinner out without the kids. We originally thought Mexican but after the shrimp tacos decided that Chinese sounded better. And it was yummy. Conversation was good. Ice cream after was great. And we got back to the hotel just in time to miss the torrential downpour!
Then on Monday something happened. I don't know what but we did our usual swim, coffee, breakfast and then we walked down Lincoln Road to the beach. But once again it was hot and we decided a swim was necessary. By this time it was almost 11am and we called the in-laws. They were just going out to breakfast themselves! This is precisely why I didn't want to eat with them- 11am for breakfast??! No, 11am is almost lunch time! We met them at a crepe place to sit and chat while they ate and the energy was off. There seemed to be something unsaid by someone that made the air very tense. We brushed it off and decided we would go and swim in their pool and wait for them to get lunch food and come and join us.
R's brother showed up a half hour later with the 4-year old. She was wearing a swim shirt that she did not want to wear and was freaking out about it. I mean screaming, kicking, crying, freaking out. R's brother wasn't exactly dealing with it. I said I would try talk to her because in my experience sometimes an outside voice helps to calm a kid. Instead of letting me try R's brother came and stood right behind us so of course the kid was playing it up more for him. I walked back to pool. Then the sister-in-law came out and the 4-year old ran to her and of course got to take off the shirt. Child: 1; Parents: 0; Aunt and Uncle: -20. :)
After swimming and lunch we went back to snooze and meet everyone back at the apartment at 4pm to do some shopping and eat dinner out. We arrive at 4pm and the 4-year old is naked in the couch watching a movie with her dad. The sister-in-law is coming in with laundry to fold. The baby is fast asleep. We wait for 45 minutes while they make no effort to get ready and announce we are going to shop and will meet them out. The tension rises.
One hour later we meet and they tell us we're going to a burger place. The only option for R is a fried mushroom burger. We ask to go somewhere else and the tension rises more. The baby has to feed so we take the 4-year old to a restaurant and start ordering because we are starving. Parents arrive and the 4-year old starts. She has to pee. I take her. She won't go. She wants to go at home. We sit back down and she doesn't want to sit next to us. She goes to sit next to her dad. She starts to get loud. She gets up and starts walking around the restaurant. R tries to get her to sit down. His brother smirks and says, "let's see how you do." I snap and tell R to forget trying to make her sit because she isn't our responsibility. Tension rises. No one is talking to each other. We are rushing to pay and leave because now the 4-year old is running around the restaurant yelling. We walk outside and the downpour starts! We walked to the restaurant and the sister-in-law refuses to take a cab with the kids. R and I jump in a cab to go get their car. I wait at the hotel. R goes to pick them up when they promptly say there isn't enough room for all the adults (no mention at all of maybe someone sitting on someone's lap). R gets mad and jumps out and walks the 1/2 mile back to the hotel in the hardest downpour I have ever seen. We go to bed out of sheer exhaustion at the evening.
Next day, we were still pissed. I have never been treated so poorly as a guest before. I have never been more embarrassed by a child in a public place before. R called his brother and said we would get a cab to the airport. He asks why and R explains why we're upset. And the reply was, get this, all the other guests that they've had since the baby was born did whatever they wanted and they thought we would do the same. How selfish is that?!! I know having children changes everything but they did not actually think for one second about us or what we were going through. In fact, thinking back they never even asked how we were doing.
And here we are back at home still upset. We didn't end up taking a cab to the airport so it was a tense 20 minute ride.
Part of me wonders if we overreacted but then the other part of me says no. We were guests and we were treated like dirt. There was no thought given to our experience. I felt like they thought because we weren't crying all the time we weren't thinking of Stella all the time. But they never brought it up. I know it is a sensitive situation but they dealt with it by ignoring it and that does nothing to help. I hate myself for being so angry but I am sick of other people getting to be selfish and not me. I have always been the nice one, the one who goes with the flow. Damn it all! I think I deserve a little more respect!
So that is that.
No comments:
Post a Comment