A new doctor

I chose not to go back to the hospital Stella was born at for many reasons (which I would get into but can't). I picked Leominster hospital because it is closest to our house and is a small community hospital. I felt like I put so much thought into picking out the hospital with Stella that this time I just wanted to go with the closest one, even if it isn't the prettiest or the newest. We went in for a few appointments and met with Dr. S. She was nice and normal but I didn't feel any connection with her. I thought this was okay because I liked the doctor that delivered Stella until everything went very wrong. I didn't want to feel that emotional connection to my doctor for fear of getting hurt again. But at the last appointment with Dr. S I felt not only was there no connection, there was no communication, and a little bit of condescending.

For about a month or so now I have had a lump near my belly button. It gets tender to the touch sometimes and while I'm not concerned about it(even though it does look like a mini baby bump), it's weird and I wanted to know if there is anything I could do about it. Dr. S informed me it is a hernia and there isn't anything I can do about it now. That's fine but it is still tender. At my last appointment I asked again if there was anything I could do to help it or make it go down in size. Dr. S informed me that a woman's body goes through many changes and even after the baby is here my body will never be the same and everything will be loose. All I said was "thanks" but I was thinking to myself "thanks for the morale booster and for not telling me anything about what I wanted to know." Soooo, that was the last straw for moving hospital decision.

Dr. S actually brought it up one time when we saw her. She said, "are you sure you don't want to be at a hospital with a NICU?" And I thought that I'd rather be in a small place close to home. But after all the miscommunication I thought it was worth a look.

I picked a hospital in Worcester with a Level III NICU. I had my first appointment yesterday. With the one exception of the parking garage being seriously a half mile walk from the doctor's office, I liked it. Check-in was good. The receptionist laughed at my joke about the parking being so far away. The nurse was nice and seemed genuinely sympathetic for my loss and actually asked questions about Stella. Then the doctor came in and, cue the music, she had actually read my chart before she came in!! I didn't have to tell the whole story about Stella all over again. She did all the usual things and asked the usual questions and then some. She agreed this hospital is a good place for me. She said the NICU team is great, part of the reason why she works there. She said she is fine with my plan to schedule a c-section. She wants to see me more often. She said even though I'm not high risk she plans to give me extra attention. I'll see her every 3 weeks and in the last month or so I'll have more ultrasounds and NSTs to make sure all is well. I like that she really took charge and didn't seem at all intimidated by our experience with Stella.

But here's the main reason I like her: she told me what to do to help the hernia!! It says in my records that I mentioned the hernia and she asked if I was doing anything to help the discomfort. I said no and she said I could get a abdominal binder and it wouldn't hurt the baby's growth if fitted properly but it would keep the hernia in. I went out today and bought one and put it on in the car in the mall parking lot. Already I am feeling so much better, plus I feel like I have better posture from it! I should be able to adjust it for most of the pregnancy to hold in the hernia and I can use the binder after the birth to help keep that weird jelly stomach compressed.

Once we have a nice, healthy baby I'll discuss what I can do about the hernia. I am not for elective surgery at all (c-section doesn't count; it is more than necessary as I think I would have a mental breakdown if I had to deliver vaginally again) but the thought of having a little "procedure" to go in and close up the gap in my abdominal wall sounds appealing if it means less pain and less "width" in the stomach! :) Maybe they can do some tucking while they're in there! Sign me up for Real Housewives of Massachusetts!