"You sound good"

I know that a lot of people don't know what to say to us. I wouldn't know what to say or do either but sometimes I am surprised by off-hand remarks. When we were still in the hospital with Stella one of the Hospice care people came to talk to us. She said not to get upset by what people say but to get to their meaning behind the comment. And for the most part I have done that and it's helped tremendously. But then yesterday R. was telling me about a conversation he had with his cousin. She told that she's engaged and of course she's overjoyed at this. And while I'm sure he is happy for her and she deserves to be happy she said to him, " I'm good. I'm really good. How are you? Are you good? You sound good." I find it interesting that some people think that because you aren't walking around crying or immobile in bed you aren't devastated inside. Of course, R. dropped the topic but he told me he what he wanted to say and it amounted to: No, I'm not good! I sound good?! That's because the worst part of this whole situation is that I have to keep on living. There is nothing good about losing our daughter!