Telling people

I told my boss that I'm pregnant yesterday. It was a lot harder than I expected. I was not only nervous because I am currently in a one year contract position that I am now not going to be doing for a year but also because I wanted to get it out that this is not my first. He was super nice about it but I was still a hyperventilating mess. This place is so laid back it's hard to deal with sometimes.

And today I chose to tell those people I work with often via email about the news. I had a hard time deciding what to say. Do I say I'm pregnant and leave it at that? Do I say I'm pregnant and spill everything about Stella? And this morning before work I decided to just say that I'm pregnant. Should anyone ask I will not lie and say this is my first but I don't want to follow up great news with sad news and I don't want this baby to be forever linked to what happened to Stella. This is a new person and while what happened to Stella is certainly affecting the way we're dealing with it, it does not mean that this baby isn't more than welcome and really wished for. This little person is special and unique. More and more I want to try to separate this baby from Stella. S/he is not a replacement. This is a time to be happy and to be hopeful and that is okay. We are still sad and lost over losing Stella but we are happy too. It's amazing the range of emotions that one person can feel at once.